


The Unplanning of Weddings

by Sole_Sakuma



Category: Arashi - Fandom, JE - Fandom, KAT-TUN - Fandom
Genre: Humour, Multi, Nino being a bastard, Sho suffering
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-06-05
Updated: 2009-06-05
Packaged: 2017-10-03 07:22:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,112
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15587
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sole_Sakuma/pseuds/Sole_Sakuma
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Aiba is getting married. Or he would be, except for the little fact he's missing, leaving the wedding planner (who other but  Matsujun) and poor long-suffering Sho to deal with the consequences.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Unplanning of Weddings

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to [](http://www.livejournal.com/users/_arcadia/profile)[**_arcadia**](http://www.livejournal.com/users/_arcadia/) and [](http://www.livejournal.com/users/sha_chan/profile)[**sha_chan**](http://www.livejournal.com/users/sha_chan/) for the beta and the title.

Sho squirmed in his seat. It was extremely noticeable and several other guests were becoming uncomfortable by association.

His mind was filled with regrets. He shouldn't have invited his family to this Glamour &amp; Booze extravaganza (the questionable glamour courtesy of Matsujun and the booze courtesy of whom else but the King of Mayhem, Ninomiya Kazunari). His father had learnt to appreciate the sparkles with time but maybe, just maybe, this Wedding with Everything You Could Ever Possibly Want in a Wedding, Except For a Groom was too much.

 

While the missing groom may seem quite important, the worst part was how calm the bride-to-be seemed. It was as she wasn't actually there. She approached him but he was so deep in thought he didn't noticed her until she touched his shoulder.

'Sakurai-kun, you shouldn't worry this much' she said smiling.

 

He hadn't noticed the dress. How did Matsujun allow such a thing? It was a sash. No, a robe. Well, it was something like a dressy sack and it made their usual concert outfits look positively dull. The last time he had seen so many pretty colours the Jimusho had to pay several magazines several millions of yens.

 

It wasn't unbecoming on her, but it clashed with the Mauve &amp; Silver pattern the rest of the wedding had.

 

'Aiba isn't here, you know?'

 

'Oh, but he'll come because if he doesn't, I'm sure he'll be sad he missed the party.'

 

In that same second, Sakurai Sho decided he would never, ever take care of whatever children may result from such a union.

 

 

In a near room, someone was having such a meltdown that it could be enough for about three brides of the worst kind and their respective bridesmaids.

 

'But I told him! I told him! And then sent a chauffeur! And a manager from the company! And called him fifteen times to check! And sent him 47 emails! And set up fourteen alarm clocks in his apartment!'

 

Do not panic, however, do not panic since he did ask for permission for the last one. The whole 'Telling your neighbours to wake you up' was uncalled for, however, and Aiba had felt quite annoyed when the little lady that lived upstairs showed up with coffee at 6 A.M.

 

'Jun, he'll come. It's his wedding, he wouldn't miss it.'

 

'Shut up! That bastard could miss his own funeral!'

 

'Just to be clear, you're not planning it. Planning stuff is bad for your health.'

 

'It's because you guys never plan anything! You all make me do this stuff.'

 

He pouted and Nino rolled his eyes.

 

'It's not like you don't enjoy it.'

 

'I do, but all I want is a little cooperation. Like, you know, showing up at your own wedding or actually remembering the dance steps.'

 

'You can't blame me! Final Fantasy XIX had just…'

 

Jun sent Nino one of his patented death glares and drank yet another cup of wine in one gulp. Then, something miraculous happened and he actually smiled.

 

Nino was marvelling at the spectacle when he heard someone say:

 

'Ninomiya-san, you're not helping.'

 

Then he rolled his eyes again, because the one talking was the culprit and sole cause of the whole mess, according to most informed opinions. Had Matsujun gone on with his unending sequence of boyfriends, weddings would have never entered his mind. But since Kame had entered their lives, uninvited and unexpected, Jun had became a firm believer in the never praised enough joys and delights of monogamy and commitment. His complete turn-around even annoyed Kame, sometimes. The rest of the times, obviously, he was adequately pleased and flattered.

 

'You deal with it.' He said, with a high emphasis on the 'it'. He stood up and went towards the door, but Kame stopped him.

 

'No, I'm dealing with a drunk Akanishi already. Just avoid mentioning That One Summer Tour and we'll be fine.' He whispered.

 

'Don't call it that.' Said Matsujun, after finishing his thirteenth glass of wine and showing off either his awesome lip-reading skills or his stupefying hearing. Judging from his singing, lip reading was probably the answer. 'It would have been a perfectly fine tour. But Nino had to neglect his responsibilities and for some reason, Sho forgot that we are not to eat what Ohno fishes. And I won't even talk about Aiba and his Summer of Love.'

 

Kame looked like he was about to start an argument. Nino seized the chance and got away as fast as he could. Kame then sighed and felt completely vindicated. He had, earlier, given Nino's jacket to a drunk Akanishi who had then proceeded to puke all over it. He was already quite sure of the decision, since it was either the jacket or Matsujun's beloved mantels, but Nino's abandonment in the face of danger only justified him further.

 

'Yeah, I know. The decorations look quite fine, don't they?'

 

He sat down besides Jun.

 

'They're lilac, I wanted them in mauve. And some of them are even _thistle_.'

 

'Oh. The flowers look pretty, though.'

 

'I wanted orchids, but Mr. Stingy there told me they were too expensive. He even wanted me to get daisies. _Daisies!_ For a celebrity's wedding! If he had got his way, we'd be having the ceremony in a ramen restaurant.'

 

'The peonies were a compromise, then?'

 

'No, I just bought them. Nino wanted to kill me.'

 

Kame smiled. Just like Jun.

 

'Oh. Did you go over budget?'

 

'Like I could do that. Nino just wanted the money left to buy a new console.'

 

Kame sighed. The groom still hadn't showed up and he had spent about three months surrounded by wedding magazines. He was dreaming with balloons and menus by this time.

 

'What happened to the dress?'

 

Jun sent him a death glare and Kame understood what happened.

 

'Too constraining, apparently. And it was so pretty.'

 

Oh, yes, so pretty that half of the Jimusho could tell you how it looked and what fabrics it was made of and how much money it had cost and how well it'd fit Aiba's bride. He remembered his embarrassment that one time with the guys from TOKIO when Jun said rapturously how perfectly it'd look on Kame and then hurriedly corrected himself. He hated that dress, even if he was absolutely sure it would have fitted him like a glove.

 

'She doesn't know what's she's missing.'

 

'No, she doesn't and Aiba doesn't know either. They hate me.'

 

Jun laid his head on Kame's shoulder, without stopping bitching for one second. Kame just sighed and drank some wine.

 

 

Sho had thought of many ways the evening could get even more uncomfortable, but his father felt really creative that night. His parents cornered him in the hallway, when he was getting back from smoking a cigarette.

 

'Son.'

 

'Yeah?'

 

'You know you can trust us, don't you?'

 

'Yes. Why do you ask?'

 

'Well, because if there's anything you need to get out of your chest… we're here to listen.'

 

He was confused and the uneasy pat on his shoulder his father gave him only added to the confusion.

 

'Uh? I'm not marrying anyone, if that's what you're getting at.'

 

'Oh, dear, we know you're not marrying anybody, trust us.' His mother said, with the kind of smile you usually reserve for terminal illnesses

and divorces.

 

'Oh? But… why do you think that?'

 

'Dear, you're… you're… so uncomfortable, so nervous…'

 

'Yeah, the groom…' he started.

 

'Yes, sweetie, we know how much the groom means for you but you need to rejoice in his happiness and believe that life will bring you a

kind of happiness not unlike that of Matsujun's.'

 

Sho's brain froze and then his sanity threatened to commit suicide.

 

'You think I'm… I'm in love with Aiba? With Aiba?! He's like my deranged puppy! How could I…?'

 

He then finished putting the pieces together.

 

'And I don't know what Nino has been telling you, but I'm not gay or bisexual and… I like girls. I really, really like girls'.

 

His parents, at least, looked moderately uncomfortable but then said 'When you're ready, son' and Sho just stood there speechless watching them leave, until Aiba's petite girlfriend showed up from behind a door.

 

'I'm very relieved, Sakurai-kun.'

 

'Why? You also thought…?'

 

'Sometimes, but I'm happy you only love him as a puppy. I wouldn't want to hurt you and he wouldn't either.'

 

Hadn't she smiled like that, he could have strangled her but he just settled on sighing.

 

'Why are you here? Were you eavesdropping?'

 

She went red and he couldn't help but smile.

 

'Oh, Ai-aiba sent me a mail telling me to go pick him up.'

 

'What?!'

 

'He said he's about three hours away from here.'

 

'But he lives like one hour from here! Matsujun got the closer place possible!'

 

'It's a long story.' She said, apologetically.

 

'It's a long ride.'

 

 

Since the story shouldn't wander and brevity is the soul of wit, the chain of events that forced Aiba to miss his own wedding was something

like this: after waking up late and having a shower, Aiba went out but then remembered he was supposed to wear the tuxedo Matsujun had picked. He got back into his home and found out the shirt was missing, so he had to wear a pink one. When he got out again, he realized he had left the shower running the entire time so he entered his home once again. This time, obviously, he got locked inside and therefore he tried to escape through the window.

 

Let's keep the extraneous details off the story and just say that after several falls, one bank robbery, a close encounter with a bear, two house fires, three heroic rescues and one light lunch, Aiba found himself with a soiled tuxedo, no car (it had exploded in the middle of the car chase), no cell phone and in the middle of an unknown city. He begged until somebody lent him a phone but he could only remember Ohno's number so he called him and asked for directions.

 

Ohno gave the directions perfectly and Aiba found his way easily…. to the coast town where Ohno had been fishing for several days.

So there they were, sitting on the beach, with a sunset so beautiful that not even Matsujun could complain about it.

 

Aiba's girl jumped off the car and flung herself into her boyfriend's arms.

 

'It's a great surprise!' she said and kissed him.

 

Matsujun got off next, wearing the World's Angriest Scowl. Kame followed, apparently discussing with Nino.

 

'I didn't know it was yours!'

 

'Yes, you did!'

 

Sakurai got off last and he had the look of a man who had witnessed his whole battalion be slaughtered.

 

'It'll be the most perfect wedding ever, Masaki!' she said, happily.

 

'Yes, it will!'

 

Ohno got up and cleared his throat. The rest of the party (the mostly sane rest) looked at them stupidly.

 

'What?'

 

'This will be our wedding, Matsumoto-kun'. She said, with little stars coming off her eyes.

 

Jun almost fainted.

 

'But… but… Aiba, this not. This is…'

 

'A ceremony in which we exchange vows of love and fidelity, a symbol of our commitment, Sho-kun, so it can be anything we like. Matsujun made me learn that.' Said Aiba, proudly.

 

'Yes, it can be everywhere!'

 

'No, it can't.' said Sakurai and Matsujun at the same time.

 

'There are rules.'

 

'And traditions.'

 

'And magazines.' Kame added. Sakurai and Matsujun looked at him without quite understanding.

 

Then Nino chuckled.

 

'This will be enough, I guess. Very Aiba-like.'

 

Sakurai sighed and conceded his point, since they'd already done the paperwork. Jun said nothing.

 

'I guess… I guess we can postpone the reception.' He finally spitted out.

 

Ohno cleared his throat again.

 

'So, Aiba, do you like this girl?'

 

'A lot.'

 

'And, you, do you like Aiba?'

 

'Very much.'

 

'So now you're man and wife. Hope you have a good time.'

 

Even Jun thought the whole idiocy was heart-warming and even deigned to hug Aiba and gave his congratulations.

 

'Yes! Then we can go to my family's restaurant and party there.'

 

'Yeah, I confiscated all of Akanishi's alcohol for the bachelor's party you all missed yesterday.' Said Kame, sure Jun wasn't hearing him.

 

Jun was already making the arrangements.

 

 

Three hours away from there, Akanishi Jin slowly opened his eyes and in a drunken stupor, tried to get up, only to find himself in a deserted room. The lights were turned off and while he staggered towards the door, he stumbled into a fully set table. He cussed for a little while and then sat down on a chair.

 

'Uh, guys? What happened to the wedding? Guys? Guys?!'


End file.
